Interview About Vicka's Upcoming Wedding
Last Thursday, 01/10/02, Sister Emmanuel and Denis Nolan went to see Vicka. Here are some of the things they talked about. (It is amazing how Vicka reflects deep doctrinal truths about personal freedom and responsiblity in such a natural way, having never studied.)
Q: Vicka, how do you see this path of marriage that you've chosen?
Vicka: Look! Each time God calls us, we must be ready in the depth of our hearts to answer this call. I have tried to answer God's call by transmitting the messages for the past 20 years. I did it for God, for the Blessed MOTHER. For the past 20 years I have been doing it alone, and nothing will change now, except that I shall be doing it in a family situation. God is calling me to start a family, a holy family, a family for God. You know, I have a great responsibility to people. They look for role models, examples to follow. So I want to tell young people: do not be afraid to commit yourselves in marriage, to choose the path of marriage! But in order to be well assured in your path, whether it is that one or another, the most important thing is to put God first in your life, to put prayer first, to start the day with prayer and to end with prayer. A marriage in which there is no prayer, is a marriage that does not last, it is empty. Where there is love, there is everything. But one thing has to be emphasised: love, yes, but what love? Love for God first, then love for the person you are going to be living with. Then, on life's journey, you must not expect everything to be rosy, to be easy. No! When sacrifices become necessary, small penances, you must always offer them to the Lord with all your heart. Every day, thank the Lord for all that has happened that day. That is why I am saying: dear young people, dear new couples, do not be afraid. Make God the most important person in your family, make him the King of your family, put him first, and he will bless you - not only you yourselves but also all who come near you.
Q: Will you continue to live in Medjugorje after your wedding?
Vicka: I will be living a few kilometers from here but I guess I will be at my post (the stairs of the blue house) most mornings! I will not have to change my mission, I know where I belong! My marriage will not change that.
Q: You are going to marry Marijo. What can you tell us about him?
Vicka: It's hard for me to talk about him, but there is one sure thing between us: prayer. He is truly a man of prayer. He is a good, capable man. He is a profound man, which is very beautiful. And our relationship together is very good. There is truly love between us, so then, little by little, we will build on that.
Q: Vicka, how can a girl know which man to marry?
Vicka: You know, with prayer it is sure, the Lord and Our Lady are ready to answer you. If you ask in prayer what your vocation is, the Lord will answer without fail. You must have good will. But you must not hasten or rush. You must not go too quickly and say to yourself when you see the first boy that goes by: "this is the boy for me". No, you must not do that. You must take your time. Pray and wait for the time of God, the right time. You have to be patient and wait that it is he, God, who sends you the right person. Patience is very important. We all tend to lose patience, we go too fast and then, after we have made a mistake, we say, "But why, Lord, this boy was not really for me." That's true, he was not for you, you should have been patient. Without patience and without prayer, nothing can work. Today, we must be much more patient, more open to respond to what the Lord wants. And once we have found the person to marry, if one or the other is afraid of changing his life and says to himself: "Oh, it is easier on my own", he is keeping a fear within himself. No, first we have to free ourselves of all that troubles us inside, and then we can do what the Lord wants. We cannot ask for a grace when we have a large block (obstacle) inside: we will never receive this grace, because inside we are not ready for it. The Lord has given us freedom. He has also given us good will, so we must rid ourselves of our blocks. After, it is up to us whether we are free or not. We all tend to say: "God this, God that, do this, do that... " God acts, of course, but I, myself, must co-operate with him and be willing. We must say, "That is what I want, so I will do it".
Q: Vicka, did you ask Our Lady's advice about your marriage?
Vicka: But you see, I'm like everyone else, the Lord gave me the choice. I must choose with all my heart. It would be all too easy if Our Lady told us "do this, do that". No, she does not work like that. God has given us all great inner gifts so that we may understand interiorly what he has prepared for us. (Vicka did not bring the subject up with Our Lady. "I never ask any question for myself," she says).
Q: Vicka, many people consecrated in celibacy saw you as their 'ideal' in Medjugorje. They see you are now getting married. Do you have anything to say to them?
Vicka: You see, during these 20 years God called me to be an instrument in his hands in this way (as single). If I represented an 'ideal' for those people, nothing has changed now! I cannot see the difference! If people take someone as an example, this person must also be allowed to answer God's calling. If God now wishes to call me to a family life, a holy family, it is that God wants that example, and I must respond to that. For our own lives, we must not look to see what someone else around us is doing, but look inside ourselves, and find within ourselves what God is calling us to. He called me to live in that way for 20 years, now he is calling me to something else and I must thank him. I must answer also for the other part of my life. Today, God needs the example of good families, and I believe the Gospa wants to make me an example in that way, now. It is not by looking at others that we will find the example, the witness that the Lord expects us to give, but by each one listening to God's personal calling. That is the witness that we can give! We must not seek our own satisfaction or do what we feel like. No, we must really do what God wants us to do. Sometimes we are very attached to what we like, and we look too little at what the Lord would like. So we can live our whole lives allowing the time to pass and see at the very end that we were wrong. The time has passed and we have done nothing. But it is today that God is giving you eyes in your heart, eyes in your soul, so that you can see and not waste your time. This time is a time of grace, but it is a time when we have to make choices and be more determined each day on the path we have chosen.