I Am With You And I Am Your Mother
Blue Book Part 3

Lately things have been as usual. All five visionaries have apparitions. Our Lady is still telling Vicks the story of her life, but Vicka told me : 'I think it will soon end.' Vicka had said this also last year, as Fr. Tomislav had told us. So Our Lady is telling the story of her life in short episodes. We do not know when it will end. She has not told Vicka this yet. But once She has finished we will be able to publish this story of Our Lady's life. Vicka says that she writes everything down but she cannot let us see or check anything. At the moment Vicka is suffering from a benign tumour between the brain and the cerebellum which cannot be operated upon. However, it is not growing and therefore it is not a malignant tumour; it makes her feel very unwell especially when the weather changes. The pressure affects the tumour and Vicka is in pain, sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for half an hour or even an hour and after, when it is all over, it seems to her that she is perfectly well. She has told me that during these last few days she has been unable to sleep at night. Nothing can be done. I said to her 'look here, we are responsible, we must see a doctor.' But Vicka replied, 'There is no need.' She knows what it is and she accepts this suffering. This drawing closer to the Cross, to suffering, and not recoiling from pain is, for Archbishop Franic, one of the surest proofs that Our Lady speaks to the visionaries.

Vicka prays and fasts a great deal. When somebody asks her how she feels, she replies, 'Extremely well.' So I say also that 'she is well.'

Our Lady speaks to Ivanka and teel her all the problems of the Church and of the world. She cannot reveal anything yet. The Madonna asked Ivanka to consecrate herself to Our Lady for six months. A consecration to Our Lady - I asked what exactly this meant; it can be said that Our Lady asks that all one's being is consecrated the Her, all one's time, all one's actions and to do this with love and according to the intentions of the Madonna. Ivanka did not say this to me. However, as the Madonna always asks Ivan's group each Wednesday to consecrate all things, even the smallest, to Her intentions, I think that Our Lady asks the same of Ivanka. Marija, Ivan and Jacov have normal apparitions without a specific task or duty like Vicka or Ivanka. They pray, they commend the pilgrims, they ask for the blessing of objects, they pray once again, and through Marija the Madonna gives messages every Thursday.

We have closed the small chapel also to the pilgrims. There are reasons for doing this: the first and foremost is in view of the visionaries spiritual life. They must be guided in their prayers and we have no time or space apart from this, from five to six in the evening, to prepare for the apparition.

I led a one day retreat with the visionaries in January and I explained many things, also regarding our faith, our prayers, because seeing Our Lady does not mean being in a school of theology or prayer. For them, this is an impulse. They must be guided like everybody else. They once told me that when the chapel is packed, when photographs are being taken as they are entering and during the apparitions, they sometimes feel extremely empty. I told them that this happens equally when we do not prepare ourselves for Holy Communion, when we receive and go away immediately. We discussed what was the wisest thing to do and have acted accordingly. The visionaries did not have any time of their own in which to pray. Sometimes people looked for them in the sacristy or at our house or at their homes and because of this their spiritual lives were really in danger.

It is useless watching unless one prays. I often say that Judas saw everything that Jesus did and he heard everything. What good was it ? Another reason why we had the chapel closed was that Our Lady said that no photographs were to be taken. But several times those who were in the chapel disobeyed and photographed, and I was not happy as Our Lady repeatedly said: "Now we must pray, pray." Well then, let us try and pray.

Another reason was this : everyday there were lots of people who wanted to enter. If I let thirty go in another thirty were disappointed or angry. People were looking around and knocking continuously during the Rosary. It was impossible to pray. We have prayed very hard to know what best to do. Our whole community was under pressure about this.

Our Lady also said once : "I am close to everybody." She also said that walls did not exist for her. And now that we are all present in the church (a bit of silence, a Hail mary, some singing and we remain in church) we will receive additional graces. In many ways it is better - not only for the visionaries but also for the prayers in church and so as not to get angry at the beginning of Mass. Besides, Our Lady has never appeard in the chapel twice on the same day. And this is also a proof for me. Yesterday Our Lady was with us for eight minutes : an enormous grace.

In her message of February 14, She said : "The family must pray together and read the Bible." I do not know many messages where Our Lady says 'must'. Our Lady always offers all with love, She invites. Yet this is what She said in Her message. Then She added : "I have spoken a great deal, but you have not responded. I am telling you for the last time, you can renew yourselves during Lent. Unless you do, I no longer wish to speak." This must be understood in this way : Our Lady offers herself as our Mother and She knocks and speaks, saying: if you do not open up I do not want to force you. I no longer wish to speak.

Through Jelena She then said : "I am not speaking for my salvation. I am saved. I speak for you and I want you to be saved."

Today I said to Jelena : 'Look Jelena, it seems somewhat strange that Our Lady is speaking in such a negative way.' Jelena gave her impressions on this matter. She said it was difficult for Our Lady to reprimand but She is often forced to simply because we ask for it. Who is it that asks for a telling off ? All those who do not want to listen. For example, if in a family a child will not listen to what he is told, after a while he will be scolded. Who is it then who wanted to be scolded, the mother or the child ? The child.

This is the explanation that twelve year old Jelena gives on how we must interpret Our Lady's criticisms. She says that Our Lady waits and is forever patient and never loses her temper with us. Before Christmas, at the beginning of Advent, Our Lady said : "You still do not know how to love. I am your mother and I have come to teach you to love." This should stir us far more than the warning of a catastrophe. The greatest catastrophe is that of not loving. Yet we sometimes behave like little children who only react to warnings: it is better to react to love and to an invitation.

Through Ivan, Our Lady guides a prayer group and since the beginning of Lent She has been asking for many prayers and above all for meditation on His Passion until 10th March, and from then till the 31st March to meditate on the sacred wounds, particularly on the sacred wound of His heart which is the most painful. Seven days before Easter, for Holy Week, She will tell us something else. She has said that we are to keep the Cross in mind. Jelena told me this morning that Our Lady has suggested how we should make the Stations of the Cross; by praying fervently and by meditating. And then She said we ought to carry objects which can help us live this passion more deeply. For example, She suggested carrying, not only a cross, but also the nails and some vinegar. Or even a sheet, a crown of thorns. In other words, all the symbols that can help to stimulate our faith.


(Fr. Slavko Barbaric - 25th February 1985)


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Last Modified 07/29/2005